The Fitoor in Teenagers / Crazy Teenage
Fitoor, means craziness and is most common in teenagers. I
am sure you must have heard, seen or observed how crazy the teenagers could be.
I remember my teenage, yeah! I was a
little arrogant, attitude was increasing, but there was no fitoor, I mean I was
never crazy, as I observe the crazy gen Z. Sometimes, I feel the struggle is
only mine, but when I discuss with my friends and people around, all have their
own difficult stories. So, the point is, handling craziness of teenager isn’t
easy. I am here to share my fitoori story, and how am dealing with the gift of Covid
that is Isolation to my poor new teenager.
So, when this all lockdowns started that is March 2020, my
poor chap just entered in his grade 7th and was 12 years. This new
transformation was very scary for each one of us, but these teenagers suffered
the maximum. They had so much to share with their friends, but how? Schools
were closed, for an unlimited time period, we were isolated in homes. The only
rescue was internet and gadgets. But, was this really a rescue? The first year
that is year 2020 was a roller coaster ride, which went with a hope that things
will improve soon, vaccine will come, year 2021 will be better, etc etc. But,
nothing of such sort happened in the whole year. We were now getting habituated
to this lifestyle, online schooling, diving into the world of web. We thought,
these masks, sanitizers and isolation ect were all temporary, but this wasn’t
true for my growing teenager. For him, in his world was fight to save the world
from cruel humans, who eat other animal just for taste. It was in March 2021,
when my son told us that he is going vegan. Vegan! What? For me, I just knew
veg and non-veg I didn’t know from where he got this idea of turning
vegan. This boy has not taken any animal
product for more than 1 and half years. This kind of craziness or ‘fittoor’
happens with teenagers. They are unpredictable, and we parents stand helpless.
We get trapped in such confusing stage, that whether to stop and scold them or
to support them. We definitely try to stop, we shout, crib, at times abuse, try
to stay calm etc, we do whatever is possible for us, but not sure whether which
strategy would work. My son now in his teenage has become an extreme
environment conscious animal lover. His day starts with feeding pigeons, cows,
in afternoon he will feed ants and at night stray dogs. The child is now
trapped in similar type of behaviour and is not ready to have any other
experience.
Now, his next step is saving fuels, for which he avoids any
kind of transport to the maximum, from vegan to raw vegan. Believe me as
parents, it is tough for us to see the child undergoing such a strict lifestyle.
I wouldn’t lie, I cribbed, shout, and do what not to stop him. But nothing
worked, infact he was scared of me. I am an author, and a pedagogy solution
expert so am in touch with psychologists. Every time I seek for help, I was
told that is he willing to take counselling, for which this boy was never
ready. Another advice was what is the wrong is he doing, in fact he is doing
all good things. So, so what! Shall I see my son converting into a baba.
I always advice parents to stay calm, have patience and
support your child but most important of all, acceptance. Please accept your
child’s identities as he or she is, half the battle is already won. But this is
not easy, when I had to face the transformations, I always had tried to stop
them, in all the possible ways. But transformation is inevitable. These kids
are exploring their personalities after facing the pandemic, their fight is not
easy, neither for the parents. But we have to accept and stay calm. This
article I am writing after practicing my words.
My harsh words, my scolding has done no good. It only
damages the confidence of my child, which I can’t let happen. So, I have
accepted his lifestyle, a now supporting him calmly. Only with love and care I
can divert him from the traps he has developed, before that accepting and
respecting his thoughts are more important. Handling teenager’s fittoor isn’t
easy, but is not impossible, being parents you can make their changing world
more beautiful.
Happy Parenting
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