What a Teenager wants?

Teenage Hungama 👀

 

Hey all, being a mom of a teenager and a pedagogy solution expert, it was important for me to understand how to understand teenagers. Believe me! I never knew that it is so difficult to understand the mood swings and behaviour of teenagers. Especially after the tough Covid-19 lockdowns, the prime sufferers are the budding teenagers who are at present in the age gap of 13 to 15 years. At this age the child undergoes both physical and emotional changes. To understand and deal with the changes happening with them, they need friends to share and discuss. But, what happened in these two years, the children were locked in homes and they missed being with their friends. This pandemic was tough for the introvert kids, as some of them even now are finding it difficult to mingle with their batchmates.

What a teenager wants! 😏

Gone are the days when you can scold or punish your child for anything. This is the time when you have to be very logical when you talk to them. This generation is called generation Z or Zoomers, and gen Z are very different from us. The studies suggest that this generation is more educated, well-behaved, stressed and depressed generation in comparison to the previous generations. The reasons are many which includes the changing family structure, that is from joint to nuclear families, both parents are working, digitization,  and the mass lockdowns due to the spread of Covid-19 pandemic. This generation prefer to stay at home and watch TV or other gadgets rather going out socialising.

Now, we are aware that it is indeed difficult to manage teenagers and if they are Gen Z then its terrible. So, what’s the solution!

The other day while I was planning to write this article, I had a word with my teenager son, who gave me a list of Do’s and Don’ts. So, here is what a gen Z teenager wants in their words:

Understanding over caring:

Now, this is quite interesting that we as parents have to draw a thin line between understanding and caring. The teenagers feel that we care, but we don’t understand. Sometimes, its better to silently observe instead of taking any action. We have to understand why they are low in mood, high in temper, etc. There must be some reason behind their mood swings, and instead of blaming or arguing, at times the parents have to act patiently with this generation. This generation demands a lot of patience.

No pampering

The teenagers are budding flowers, and they are entering towards the adulthood, but not yet adult. They pretend that they are grown up now, and don’t require any pampering, this is because of the changes happening with them. So, we as parents also have to be very smart while dealing with them. Pampering wouldn’t work, but love always do, and Gen Z is smart enough to differentiate between pampering and love.

Be Logical

Since, our teenagers are extra smart and so they want their parents to be logical. Any illogical demands and actions by parents are not entertained by Gen Z.

How Parents have to deal!

Now this is what a teenager wants from his or her parents, but what are the concerns of parents while dealing with the child. We actually face difficult time when they argue, or answer back. Their phones are password protected and we are not sure what content is being followed by the child. Some might suddenly start following different diet plans like my son turned Vegan, in the lockdown. It is very difficult to accept that child will stop taking dairy products for an Indian mother, but teens are teens and they know the best for themselves. In such situation, we have to handle things tactfully. We have to question ourselves, if the child is maintain the balanced diet, let it be whatever diet he or she follows, and then accordingly we need to take the action.

Getting Hyper always is not the solution

The teens are always prepared to give us shocks and jerks, but getting hyper is not the solution. Maintaining your calm is always required. Don’t forget, this generation is very updated and knows unfortunately more than the parents. But having knowledge, and using the knowledge rightly are two different things. As parents we have to support them at this stage instead of helping. There are several thin lines, which we need to draw, when aur children reaches teen age, like between help and support, pampering and caring, ordering and asking etc there various such actions which has to be tactful.

Don’t blame yourself

It happens that various times we do or act, in a way which shouldn’t have been done, but its Ok. We are all humans , and we learns from our mistakes. In this case we are not only humans but parents, and there is no rule of parenting, we make mistakes, we try to analyse the situation and sometimes our analysis goes wrong. In fact, here am also pacifying myself for not arguing with my son. He, I  sometimes feel provoke me to get angry, and the fact is they are teens. They will do and behave what they feel like doing, without filters.

Let’s let them be who they are! They are in the exploring mode, they are exploring their own selves, lets help them by being with them, calmly.

Happy Parenting !!

 

Shilpi Signodia