Why are my efforts going null with my child?
Hello all,
So sorry that I took quite some time in coming up with my second blog talking about the progress of our children. In the past one month I have been to various events for the launch and disscussion on the book #Innocent wings. It wasnt very surprising to feel the concern of the parents about children. The parents inquired so many queries to me, and most common of all was:
Q: I did so much of efforts on my child, but still I dont see any progress. May I know where am I going wrong?
So, why not lets discuss the secrets of working with your child and seeing them succeeding. Believe me, when we as parents see our children succeed, there is no other happiness compared to this. But, what success means to a parent.
1. How do you analyse success of your child?
Yeah, this is important to understand that how do you measure the sucess of your child. It implies, you look for higher grades, or trophies or compare it to your peers. I must say it is important to keep a check on the improvement of child but dont measure atleast not in the above mentioned ways. They are temporary. The way you should check the improvement should be the changes you notice in your child. like
- If he or she is happier than before.
- whether the level of confidence has increased or not
-whether the child is performing better (even by a half mark) in his or her exams. The understanding level should be tested.
The performance should be checked and not compared.
2. Do you trust your child?
Trust is very important. I have got various queries of parents regarding that they dont any improvement in their child even after spending a lot of time, energy and money.
Hmmm! this happens, we lose patience when we dont see desired results, but in case of children, actually we dont have the right to lose patience and hopes. If things dont work well in one direction and try other ways but dont lose hopes.
So I was talking about trust. Yes! its the prime essence which will give you, your desired results. Trust your child, believe in his or her capabilities and patiently work on them. Encourage for even smallest of the achievement, like if the child used to write 5 words daily, and today he or she wrote 6 or more, encourage. Encourage your child for the slightest of the achievement this will boost their confidence and they try to do more and more, slowly and steadily. But, trust them first.
3. How much pressure you put on the child?
We are the parents of 21st century, which very fast and competitive. None has the time, and to fulfill the requirements we have to put pressure and force. But, dont apply this theory on your kids. Slow down, for their fast improvements. If you know something in mathematics, and you assume that child would also know the same, how is that possible. Give your patience, if your child is not in a mood to study, dont pressurize. Give them time to settle and then come back to study on their own with full energy. It doesnt matters if he or she dont study as per the schedule made by you. A child should study as per willingness.
You want your child to learn, and learning could happen willingly, forcefully its just time pass.
I hope these three crucial points would help you in working with your child. My book Innocent Wings has real life cases that are beng discussed, like how those children who were being considered hopeless by society are doing better than the best.
Book Link: https://www.amazon.in/Innocent-Wings-DYSLEXIA-CHILDHOOD-PARENTING/dp/9387780163/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1543391054&sr=8-2&keywords=innocent+wings
Mail me at: modashilpi@gmail.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/modashilpi/?ref=bookmarks
Insta handle: modashilpi
So sorry that I took quite some time in coming up with my second blog talking about the progress of our children. In the past one month I have been to various events for the launch and disscussion on the book #Innocent wings. It wasnt very surprising to feel the concern of the parents about children. The parents inquired so many queries to me, and most common of all was:
Q: I did so much of efforts on my child, but still I dont see any progress. May I know where am I going wrong?
So, why not lets discuss the secrets of working with your child and seeing them succeeding. Believe me, when we as parents see our children succeed, there is no other happiness compared to this. But, what success means to a parent.
1. How do you analyse success of your child?
Yeah, this is important to understand that how do you measure the sucess of your child. It implies, you look for higher grades, or trophies or compare it to your peers. I must say it is important to keep a check on the improvement of child but dont measure atleast not in the above mentioned ways. They are temporary. The way you should check the improvement should be the changes you notice in your child. like
- If he or she is happier than before.
- whether the level of confidence has increased or not
-whether the child is performing better (even by a half mark) in his or her exams. The understanding level should be tested.
The performance should be checked and not compared.
2. Do you trust your child?
Trust is very important. I have got various queries of parents regarding that they dont any improvement in their child even after spending a lot of time, energy and money.
Hmmm! this happens, we lose patience when we dont see desired results, but in case of children, actually we dont have the right to lose patience and hopes. If things dont work well in one direction and try other ways but dont lose hopes.
So I was talking about trust. Yes! its the prime essence which will give you, your desired results. Trust your child, believe in his or her capabilities and patiently work on them. Encourage for even smallest of the achievement, like if the child used to write 5 words daily, and today he or she wrote 6 or more, encourage. Encourage your child for the slightest of the achievement this will boost their confidence and they try to do more and more, slowly and steadily. But, trust them first.
3. How much pressure you put on the child?
We are the parents of 21st century, which very fast and competitive. None has the time, and to fulfill the requirements we have to put pressure and force. But, dont apply this theory on your kids. Slow down, for their fast improvements. If you know something in mathematics, and you assume that child would also know the same, how is that possible. Give your patience, if your child is not in a mood to study, dont pressurize. Give them time to settle and then come back to study on their own with full energy. It doesnt matters if he or she dont study as per the schedule made by you. A child should study as per willingness.
You want your child to learn, and learning could happen willingly, forcefully its just time pass.
I hope these three crucial points would help you in working with your child. My book Innocent Wings has real life cases that are beng discussed, like how those children who were being considered hopeless by society are doing better than the best.
Book Link: https://www.amazon.in/Innocent-Wings-DYSLEXIA-CHILDHOOD-PARENTING/dp/9387780163/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1543391054&sr=8-2&keywords=innocent+wings
Mail me at: modashilpi@gmail.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/modashilpi/?ref=bookmarks
Insta handle: modashilpi
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